Within this Halloween's predictable costume brigade of Michael Jacksons, Lady Gagas, and "Recession-Proof Sluts," it may seem daunting to find an original costume by Saturday. Well, I can't help you with originality, but if you decide to go as Adam Lambert's new For Your Entertainment album cover, I can ensure that you find all necessary supplies in just one trip to your decrepit hometown True Value.
· Manic Panic in Midnight or Sidewalk Chalk Blue
· A decent Photoshopper (Mom) who understands that the look is half-Taylor Lautner, half-Fairuza Balk. Tell her to comb your hair over like post-out Rosie O'Donnell, because LGBT rights are cool and so is Adam.
· A publicly stated desire to share your candy with a girl, maybe
· A bratty little brother you have to supervise all night, named Kris Allen.
· Constellations (You can reenact this with follicular glitter and a simple flashlight).
· A slightly worn batting glove. Have your parent or legal guardian cut the fingers off. After hole-punching the wrist of the glove, insert a keychain ring attached to several scraps of a dark handkerchief. Remember: the tighter the glove, the more rock 'n roll the life.
· Madonna's first album, to be sure you get the spangles, face clutch, bubbling-over carnality, and pain-eyes right. Matt Giraud fans will make fun otherwise.
· Eye shadows in Feelin' Reflective Black and Banana Bombshell yellow, lipstick in Pink Grapefruit. For authenticity, use Crayola Washables.