· In news that will no doubt pitch a million fanboy tents, Kristen Bell has signed on to play Christina Aguilera's nemesis in the upcoming musical drama Burlesque. The film will feature Bell losing her mind and baring her claws when Aguilera's up-and-coming dancer overtakes her spot as the main attraction at a Los Angeles burlesque joint. Cher also stars as the new girl's mentor, a role originally thought to comprise a number of life lessons but is now reduced to one-half corner man and one-half reattaching clumps of torn-out hair to Aguilera's scalp before her 11 p.m. performance. [THR]
Great news for the TIFF sensation Chloe, Dan-O will be doing more booking, and more Hollywood Ink after the jump.
· Rejoice! The best lesbian-inflected psychotic infidelity melodrama of the Toronto Film Festival is coming to a theater near you in 2010: Sony Pictures Worldwide Entertainment Group has acquired U.S. rights to Atom Egoyan's terrific Chloe. No release date or plans are set as of now, though if I had to guess, you might look for the film to trickle down to Sony Pictures Classics for a theatrical release next spring. Strike that -- you must look for it. [Variety]
· Dear Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman: We get it. The world does not need your planned Hawaii Five-O reboot to understand you are a pair of prolific screenwriter/power brokers. Apply this time to making Transformers 3 better. Can we please talk this over? xo, Movieline [Variety]
· Disney production boss Oren Aviv apparently bought his own pitch, called Opposite Day, about a "corporate hatchet man" who wakes up one day to find he must do the opposite of his normal routine. Aviv has brought in Tiffany Paulsen to write the screenplay. [THR]
· Twisted Pictures, the company that brought you the Saw franchise, struck a deal with Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes that will move the rebooted Texas Chainsaw Massacre series under its blood-soaked auspices. Anyone want to venture a release date on the inevitable Jigsaw vs. Leatherface battle royale? [Variety]