Over the past couple of days, there has been much gnashing of teeth, rending of clothes, and hurried stashing of product-placement cash into filthy mattresses following the Federal Trade Commission's announcement that it will seek to regulate the grift-happy Wild West that is the Internet by requiring the disclosure of any payments or free products shoveled into the gaping maws of the eminently corruptible greed-machines known as "bloggers" in exchange for coverage. In the spirit of compliance, Movieline is taking a few moments to make some public disclosures about the various freebies, enticements, and Carl's Jr. bags full of wadded-up Ben Franklins that drive our daily coverage of Hollywood; by offering some transparency in this area, we hope we can keep the FTC from battering down the door to our headquarters, kicking over the teetering stacks of gold-plated DVDs that litter the office, and, while pressing the cold muzzle of an assault rifle into the back of our necks, demanding to know if we gave Jennifer's Body a positive review because Fox sent over a pair of promotional pasties like the ones Megan Fox wore in her semi-nude scene. (Disclosure: it didn't hurt. We're wearing them right now. It's like we never had nipples! Fun!) Below, find a breakdown of any network/studio/publicist-related funny-business that may have influenced our opinions:
Mad Men Power Rankings: In an effort to persuade Movieline to provide some coverage of its woefully obscure, tragically under-discussed Sunday night drama, AMC ferried Editor at Large Mark Lisanti in a chauffeured 1963 Cadillac El Dorado to a one-on-one interview in a Bel Air Hotel suite, where he was met by a bathrobed, in-character Jon Hamm. Two hours later, the car returned him home, where he spent the rest of the day curled up on a couch, babbling something about a "threat level" reaching "two-handed prostate exam." But that very weekend, the Power Rankings were born.
The Fantastic Mr. Fox: This weekend, editor Seth Abramovitch will embark upon a studio-provided trip across the pond for the London Film Festival premiere of the upcoming Wes Anderson stop-motion animation film, a tour of the set, and interviews with the cast and crew.* While 20th Century Fox has not made any demands about coverage, Seth has agreed to wear a full-body Mr. Fox costume to Movieline HQ for the week leading up to the movie's U.S. release, during which he will address his co-workers only as "Badger," "Rat," "Weasel," or other character names from the film, and occasionally attempt to pilfer lunches from the office refrigerator. (For the record, no one else at Movieline is required to engage in any furvert-related role-play in connection with Mr. Fox, but other costumes will be made available on an opt-in basis.)
- [Editor's Note: Actually true.]
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen: The night before several Movieline staffers were to attend a media screening, director Michael Bay personally messengered over a DVD featuring bikini-clad women in toy voice-changing Optimus Prime helmets sitting on balloons, excitedly yelling "Booooom! Yaaaay!" in their tinny, altered robot-voices each time they were successful in popping one. Eventual Movieline rating for Transformers 2: 6 1/2
Toronto Film Festival, Up in the Air: Though Movieline's Seth Abramovitch and Stu VanAirsdale paid for their own travel and accommodations, they did attend a special Up in the Air VIP "Platinum Club Frequent Flier" lounge, where George Clooney hand-fed both editors sushi while casually discussing director Jason Reitman's Oscar chances. Additionally, both left wearing promotional neck-pillows they would only later discover were stuffed with twenty-dollar bills. (The pillow cases were immediately returned as a totally unnecessary gesture.) Eventual Movieline rating: 8
The Jay Leno Show: NBC's publicity department offered an all-access day touring the Leno set prior to the show's premiere, including a test-drive of an electric Ford Focus around their Green Car Challenge track. When Movieline declined the offer, the host himself showed up at the ML offices the next day, offering to personally shuttle any interested writers over to the set; when that offer was declined, Leno again appeared the following morning, driving back and forth in a jalopy in a menacing fashion, glaring through a pair of comically oversized aviator goggles at the confused staffers watching him from the safety of a third-floor window. He then shouted something about having already paid for a pizza party before finally driving off, angrily shaking a fist. Two days later, Movieline offered a negative assessment of show, which we now disclose may have been affected somewhat by NBC and Leno's unsettling, off-putting generosity.