David Letterman took to the air last night to share details of the latest extortion plot against him, an alleged $2 million scheme by a fellow CBS employee to bury details of Letterman's sexual dalliances with women on the Late Show staff. It was both a preemptive PR coup and the groundwork for what will no doubt be another torrent of abuse from the American right, but first and foremost, it was riveting television. More details, along with video of the segment (while it lasts), after the jump.
Letterman tells the story better than anyone around here can, but CBS hasn't made available the 10-minute clip (or even an abridged version) as of this morning. In a nutshell, the host recounted the early morning three weeks ago when he found a package and a threat in the back seat of his car. According to Letterman, the mystery sender said that he'd write a screenplay about "bad things" Letterman had done unless they struck a deal of some sort. After consulting his lawyer and the New York City district attorney's office, Letterman arranged to meet the sender, who demanded $2 million in hush money. Letterman eventually gave the accused blackmailer a fake check for the sum, prompting his own grand jury testimony and the man's arrest Thursday around noon EDT. The host didn't name the suspect, but reports this morning name him as Robert Halderman, a 51-year-old Emmy-wining producer at 48 Hours.
Letterman could have stopped there, but he continued: What were these bad things whose burial was apparently worth $2 million? He said the man threatened to expose his sexual trysts with female staffers, to which Letterman responded on the air: "I have had sex with women who work on this show. [...] Would it be embarrassing? Perhaps it would, especially for the women."
Like much of the rest of the story, told in Letterman's typically droll, self-deprecating style ("I am a towering mass of Lutheran, Midwestern guilt," he also added), the admission drew laughs and support from the Late Show crowd. I'm not sure how it was taken at home, where his longtime girlfriend and recent bride Regina Lasko may or may not have watched while their 6-year-old son slept (a previous extortion attempt threatened his kidnapping and a $5 million ransom), or among conservative opponents he's tweaked repeatedly with jokes of sexual and moral improprieties, but we're sure to find out.
Watch for yourself, and check Movieline for follow-ups as they're available. And Conan, if you're listening? You're clearly going to have to come up with something better than fighting Newark, N.J., if you want to trump this one.