· "I feel a combination of relaxed and aroused in your company," Russell Brand told the ladies of The View today, though it appeared he was most enamored by Sherri Shepherd, whose vow of celibacy he was intent on breaking. "Somehow I think I walked away from this show with a date," Shepherd later Tweeted. Yes, and somehow Brand walked away from the show with her bra and two of her spare wigs. Clip below.
· A History of Violence screenwriter Josh Olson will not read your fucking script (unless he's being paid to rewrite it, we presume). [via Nikki Finke]
· Maura Tierney's ongoing breast cancer battle will necessitate a recast on NBC's pushed-to-midseason Parenthood.
· Casey Wilson wasn't fired from being Saturday Night Live for being fat, claims an NBC spokesperson.
· Brad Pitt paid $80,000 to create a home for his children's pet gerbil, claims a totally reliable UK tabloid. I'm sure Richard Gere would have let him crash somewhere for free.