Perusing 7 Ridiculous Gossip Girl Photo Shoots

There's something sinister about the fact that Gossip Girl, a TV show full of beautiful "teenagers" should inspire such weird, overly serious, sometimes inappropriate photo shoots. Still, watching Chace, Ed, Leighton, and Blake teeter into plasticized pin-up territory might reveal the real reason these guys take such ridiculous pictures: They're ciphers. You want a Mattel poster? They can do that. A sexualized plea for cougar fandom? They'll straddle whatever aging model you throw at them. A blowjob analogy? Hand over the popsicles. Here are seven of our ridiculous favorites:

We begin with the most recent addition to the library: Ed Westwick and Leighton Meester starring in this photo shoot for the Korean magazine Ask Enquired (above left). Forget that Leighton looks dipped in cellophane -- Ed looks like a 12-year-old boy with pink-painted lips. It's like what he might look like if he were a character in The Polar Express. Which is, of course, a creepy, creepy film.

For the time being, Chace Crawford has become a scruffy grownup! Oops, someone turned the dial to "Full Primate" -- now he's Helena Bonham Carter in Planet of the Apes.

Chace Crawford's cover shoot for VMan hearkens back to the days of Ricky Nelson, Buddy Holly and the Crickets, and of course, wolfmen.

Interview magazine really loves pensive photo spreads with thick shadows and the occasional "message" -- here, a cautionary tale about nights spent at tattoo parlors, with Chace Crawford dappled in enough pseudo-harlequin pretension and patriotism to make Scott Ian give up ink for good.

Rolling Stone stages a lot of dubious activity (that bizarre, Velvet Goldmine-ripping Adam Lambert shoot springs to mind), but this is just gross. Here, Blake Lively and Leighton Meester woo dairy enthusiasts (ahem) with an ice cream-tonguing contests. The froth dripping from Leighton's mouth is a nice, subtle, necessary touch. Ansel Adams springs to life and grants a thumbs-up.

Helena Christensen makes the comeback of a lifetime the hour with Ed Westwick in this naughty, awkward, lap dance photo from Harper's Bazaar. It's sort of like watching Woody Allen proposition Scarlett Johannson. Go on, think about it.

Ed Westwick and Leighton Meester fulfill years of comic potential and exhume the forgotten SNL skit "Goth Talk" in Elle, with Westwick pulling off a coy Chris Kattan impersonation. Leighton's anti-drug is a diagnosable black licorice addiction.