Shaq Expands the Brand

The basketball player known as Shaquille O'Neal may not have too many seasons left in the tank, but the media personality known as Shaq is just warming up. His last televised challenge was taking on childhood obesity, but now he ventures to far-flung locales like Pittsburgh to compete against fellow athlete luminaries in their chosen sports. Does it matter if he beats them? Not really. Does Shaq need to do another show to prove that he has the most charisma of any living athlete? Definitely not.

Shaq Vs. [9 PM, ABC]

In the first episode of Shaq's new show, he goes up against Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger in a test of football skills. Like most dancing shows or hunting shows, there will be way too much cross-talk and not enough sports action, but someone somewhere knows more about creating sportsertainment programming than we do, apparently.

Masters of Reception [10 PM, TLC]

Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos are one of the less annoying celebrity couples, but deciding to produce a reality program about a New Jersey family of wedding planners might take them to the Ashton-Demi level. The weddings of two couples are profiled in the premiere episode, but let's just give it up to TLC for putting on the millionth wedding-centric reality show on cable.

Big Brother 11 [9 PM, CBS]

As if you didn't already know, Chima flipped out this week and the edited version is supposed to be shown tonight. This has ramifications for the Power of Veto competition and Head of Household Michele's nominations, so maybe the girls will stop crying about Jessie leaving and start fighting for their spot in the house.

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist [9 PM, Starz]

Of all the young actresses working today, Alexis Dziena is not only the skinniest but maybe the luckiest. Somehow she keeps working even though there must be less creepy actresses going up for those roles. (Even her stint on Entourage seemed like a waste of time for E.) That's not to say that she doesn't have her own set of skills, but in Nick & Norah's she is so wrong for Michael Cera's character that it pretty much kills the romantic tension in the film. It's not like Kat Dennings is any more of a thespian, but Dziena is just too shrill in counterpoint to Cera's easy-awkward charm. If that's the point of her performance, then the point is definitely taken.