The Television Critics Association Press Tour began on Tuesday and so far the voice crying loudest from the Pasadena wilderness is that of comedian George Lopez, announcing to the rest of the basic cable late night talk show pack that he's an alpha-lobo ready to hunt. Lopez and his producers promise that Lopez Tonight, premiering in November on TBS, will be spontaneous and feed off the audience's excitement and have "an energy that isn't anywhere on TV." Even though this is the first endeavor into late night programming for Lopez and TBS, no one appears to be lowering expectations just yet. Fine, we will play along with their little game, but we have some advice before Lopez starts channeling Johnny Carson.
Actually, it's too late for that. Lopez has resolved to bring back at least one of Carson's traditions: The thumbs-up from the desk. After a stand-up comic would succeed, Carson would allegedly throw a thumbs-up his or her way and then have a brief interview with the performer. It's a nice homage and sort of allows for spontaneity (assuming that Lopez is allowed to defy important things like pre-set commercial breaks). Emulating an idol isn't a bad idea, but we have a couple more suggestions:
Stop Promising Stuff. The word "promise" gets thrown around willy-nilly during the run-up to the fall season. A show either has "promise" or "promises" something new. That's the miracle of television, but not the point of late night television. No matter who you are - Letterman, Ferguson, Conan - your daily goal is to find new ways to do the same bits that Steve Allen did in the middle of last century. Instead of guaranteeing what kind of energy the show will have, just promise hard work or at least the appearance of hard work.
Don't Get Rid of the Monologue. Lopez has mentioned that the show could start with a musical guest and won't have a regular monologue, but not having a moment for Lopez to tell jokes directly to the audience would be a terrible elision. Lopez's stand-up is ethnic-leaning but generally up-the-middle, perfect for a late night crowd looking for something to watch while they settle into bed. Just because you have a huge staff and a production budget doesn't mean that you should stop telling jokes about dating Puerto Rican women or how your wife doesn't want to give you any. Remember, you aren't Jimmy Fallon. His character work is decent but his monologue bombs almost every single night. You are a comedian, you sound natural telling jokes.
Spontaneity Shouldn't Be a Goal. Just ask any bored married couple: You can't try to be spontaneous, Yes, the Johnny Carson Best-of DVDs are full of strange off-the-cuff moments, but the execution of the planned moments are what made Johnny a legend. It's funny to have an "unplanned" churro-eating contest with Michael Douglas, but it's how you turn an interview with Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano into a compelling and funny segment that will make you memorable.
Get Personal. The best Letterman moments are after the monologue when he tells stories that happened to him. Even if he embellishes, they still give the audience something substantial. They also earn bigger laughs than any comedy piece or sketch. You are carrying around your wife's kidney, that's enough for an entire season. If possible, have your assistant TiVo a few episodes of Bonnie Hunt's talk show. Bonnie Hunt mines the conservative guilt of Midwesterners the way you exploit the stereotypes of Mexican culture transported to America. Bonnie Hunt has the audience ask questions and plays around with the format without spending too much money to do it. Sure, her show is during the afternoon, but she invests her personality and history in every bit and interview. Be selfish. It's your show, man.
One last thing: You are on TB-freakin'-S and you are up against The Daily Show/Colbert Report juggernaut. Feel free to do some truly weird stuff. You'll never analyze the news as well as those institutions, but you can analyze a quinceañera with the best of them.