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Win, Lose, or Draw? A Comic-Con Scoreboard

Has it only been two days since we were lost inside the geek fantasia that was Comic-Con 2009? The calendar says as much, but that strange, leotard-friendly universe already seems light years away. With some breathing room from its 24-hour hype machine, we take a look back at the hits, misses and too-soon-to-tells from a watershed year in San Diego's nerd-overrun Gaslamp District.

WINS

1. Iron Man 2

If it had to be distilled to a single shot, I'd say it was the closing one of the sequel's trailer -- of War Machine demonstrating the full extent of his capabilities in a suit so amazing, it later led Robert Downey Jr. to remark to Don Cheadle, "I can't believe your rig is better than my rig!" At this year's Comic-Con, Iron Man returned to the place where he first achieved liftoff, slapped his rivet-reinforced ironhood on the table, and dared all others to do the same. No one came close.

2. Tron Legacy

I've gushed enough about its sleek, neon-trimmed interface, but until you actually slip on the 3-D glasses and enter its world, it's really all just talk. A triumphant interactive fan experience, whispers of mysterious pancake breakfasts with Daft Punk, and a lightcycle concept design that resulted in 6000 spontaneous iGasms were enough to sell me on the update, even if no new footage was premiered. Also, with original Tron writer Steven Lisberger on board guiding the sequel, I'm confident we're in somewhat good hands with this Legacy's legacy.

3. Kick-Ass

I wasn't there, but I practically felt as though I were by the end of the weekend. Taking virtually everyone by surprise, Stardust and Layer Cake director Matthew Vaughn's independently financed adaptation of Mark Millar's Kick-Ass earned drooly superlatives from anyone inside the shrine-like Hall H for its panel. From the mind who brought you Wanted, K-A is a true comic book geek's superhero movie, and Vaughn's take earned comparisons to Richard Donner's Superman for its epic sweep and Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill for its masterfully orchestrated, full-impact violence. Add Nic Cage coaching his daughter on how to take a bullet to the stomach as if he were teaching her how to ride a two-wheeler, and you've got something to look forward to.

4. Taylor Lautner's Abs

'Nuff said.

DRAWS

1. Avatar

The most controversial presentation at Comic-Con came with it unrealistically inflated expectations -- though they were inflated by the filmmakers and studio (and Sigourney Weaver!) themselves. As amazing as the footage was -- and as we already detailed, it's quite amazing -- the dominant sentiment among attendees and tastemakers was that it just wasn't enough, and that James Cameron had perhaps oversold his story of 10-foot-tall, Gelfling-like blue warriors moving through an impressively rendered, but ultimately video game-like, environment. The 25 minutes were a technical achievement, but there's definitely lingering questions about how good an actual movie this will be. Here's what I think: Think of it as the greatest Heavy Metal chapter of all time, and you're bound to be satisfied.

2. Zombieland

Zombies. Everyone loves zombies. Slow zombies, fast zombies (in this case), disco-dancing zombies. But bringing something truly fresh to the genre takes more than some snappy one-liners and juicy brain hankerings. Zombieland, from first-time feature director Ruben Fleischer, has on its surface a lot going for it -- particularly the casting, with the quirky pairing of Woody Harrelson and Adventureland's Jesse Eisenberg (with whom we have a full interview coming up later this week) as its central zombie-hunters. But what I saw in the preview footage didn't exactly send me. To begin with, there's the Eisenberg voiceover narration, which in the few minutes previewed had already started to grate; then there were the actual zombies, who didn't seem particularly new or compelling. The filmmakers cited Shawn of the Dead and 28 Days Later repeatedly in describing their inspirations, but nothing on the screen suggested it approached either of those film's brains (mmm....braaaaains) or innovation. Still, I'm fully prepared to be pleasantly surprised.

LOSSES

1. 2012

There was something incredibly disingenuous about the 2012 panel, where poor Roland Emmerich was forced to sit alone and field questions from a crowd of thousands. You had to wonder what John Cusack and Amanda Peet had going on that was so pressing they couldn't manage to make it. (For that matter, not even star Woody Harrelson stuck around, and he was on stage just seconds before for the Zombieland panel!) So there was Roland, asked why he keeps destroying the planet, and the best response he could muster was because he "loves it." He then said something half-assed about how we need to take better care of it, which inspired similarly half-assed applause. Let's get real here: 2012 is not a love letter to Gaia. It's a mindless disaster movie, as evidenced by the preview footage shown. Emmerich made sure to add a disclaimer that the footage "wasn't finished," but I can't imagine how any more CGI layering would make the sequence any more compelling: Stretch limo containing Cusack, Peet, and their brood careens through Southern California as it literally collapses into the center of the Earth. Rinse and repeat, only this time with a passenger plane. Sorry, this just felt cynical to me, as if the pungent smell of burning money had suddenly filled the massive room.

2. Mom-A-Con

You know when you might start wanting to rethink your marketing ideas? When 75 people show up to a 2000-seat auditorium to get the world-exclusive scoop on ABC's Patricia Heaton vehicle, The Middle. And you just know those 75 people were probably comprised entirely of nervous ABC flacks and execs, one of whom drew the short straw and was forced to break the news to Ms. Heaton after her long journey that her clip-introduction services would not be needed. Now, I realize I'm a geeky-come-lately to the party to start grandstanding about Comic-Con selling out, but The Middle? Seriously? Let's try to stay on topic, people. No Patricia Heaton sitcoms, even if she's playing a put-upon Vulcan homemaker in them.


3. Fandango

Poor Fandango. Poor, poor Fandango. He couldn't even wave back at you. I've never seen more abuse heaped upon a Hawaiian-shirt-wearing enormous paper bag with starfish for hair in my life.