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Why Didn't Scarlett Johansson Play This Bald, Bisexual, Thor-Violating Superheroine?


As we noted earlier, Scarlett Johansson told us at Comic-Con that at one point, she'd discussed the possibility of playing three other superheroines with Marvel: Scarlet Witch, Blonde Phantom, and the mysterious "Moon." At the time, we couldn't find a Moon in Marvel's collection, but we think we've found out who Johansson meant, and she's a doozy.

Commenter Christopher Campbell suggested that Johansson actually was referring to Moondragon, a super-powered telepath introduced in the Iron Man series who was, at one point, one of the Avengers. Here are the insane fun facts you should know about this character Johansson was potentially interested in:

· According to Wikipedia, Moondragon "is openly bisexual, and has respectively been attracted to Daredevil, Thor, Cloud, Quasar, Marlo Chandler, and Phyla-Vell." Sadly, the Green Lantern and Deadpool haven't figured into Moondragon's black book, limiting the chance Johansson might have had at swapping cinematic spit with husband Ryan Reynolds.

· She's bald! Forget dying her hair to prove to Jon Favreau her commitment to Black Widow -- Johansson would have had to break out the Gillettes to earn that reported nine-picture deal.

· Oh, she also kind of raped Thor once, which would have set up an interesting crossover plotline/The Other Boleyn Girl reunion with Natalie Portman.

In summation, Johansson clearly should have chosen Moondragon over Black Widow, building to an Iron Man 3 sequence where she solves the love triangle brewing between Tony, Pepper, and herself by administering some super-roofies and boffing them both in outer space.