As we pack up our Movieline-skinned Smart Car and prepare to journey up the 5 back to L.A., we look back at our time at Comic-Con mostly with fondness, and maybe just a twinge of regret (primarily over the onset of "Twilightnitus," an irreversible form of hearing loss which manifests itself as the persistent sound of 6500 teenage girls screaming "TAKE IT OFF, TAYLOR!!!" in your ears).
Anyway, HERE ARE YOUR BOX OFFICE NUMBERS. (WHAT?! WE'RE NOT SHOUTING - YOU'RE WHISPERING!)
1. G-Force
Gross: $32,152,000 (new)
Screens: 3,697 (PSA: $8,697)
Weeks: 1
Congratulations, Zach Galifianakis: You are officially The Biggest Star on the Planet™. We hope you don't choose to squander your new comedy-megastar capital by being seduced into playing all 8 members of Disney's planned, latex-driven Untitled Overweight Urban Swiss Family Robinson Project. Use Eddie Murphy's career as a cautionary roadmap. You'll thank us in the end.
2. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Gross: $30,000,000 (cume: $221,834,000)
Screens: 4,325 (PSA: $6,936)
Weeks: 2 (Change: -61.5%)
Harry's precipitous second-week drop ties the one for Transformers: Megan Fox's Coinslot -- not exactly a badge of honor for the latest installment, which had been greeted with enthusiastic reviews and general fan contentment. It's a sad statement about today's blockbuster audiences: content to abandon the emotionally needy conjurers they've been wooing for months just moments after blowing their loads, leaving the wizards damaged and heartbroken, with little to do but erect emotional fortresses as they bitterly play pigeon-target-practice with their wands.
3. The Ugly Truth
Gross: $27,000,000 (new)
Screens: 2,882 (PSA: $9,368)
Weeks: 1
$27 million is "right in line with my expectations," said Truth star Vibrating Panties, adding, "There's talk of my own spin-off -- sort of a sexed-up Short Circuit -- but I guess we'll have to see how things play out in the coming weeks."
4. Orphan
Gross: $12,770,000 (new)
Screens: 2,750 (PSA: $4,644)
Weeks: 1
A disappointing showing for Warners' bad seed movie should please orphans' rights activists, many of whom felt the film was irresponsible and would discourage placing their children in loving homes. In fact, a spokeswoman for The Orphan Society of America was going to release a press statement saying as much, but plunged mysteriously to her death from her 7th floor office window. Police are assuming suicide.
5. Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Gross: $8,200,000 (cume: $171,291,000)
Screens: 3,300 (PSA: $2,485 )
Weeks: 4 (Change: -53.3%)
You know, we saw people dressed up as just about anything you could imagine at Comic-Con -- save the characters of Ice Age. Just saying.
[Figures: Box Office Mojo]