We have for you today the greatest conceivable casting announcement short of a banner Variety headline declaring the Queen of England has signed on for Bring It On VII: Royal Jewels: Mel Gibson will star in The Beaver, the #1 Black Listed black comedy by Kyle Killen about a family man on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and the discovery of an imagined (or is it?) talking beaver hand-puppet who proceeds to steadily take over his life. And as rumored, Jodie Foster is directing -- indeed, it is she who convinced her Maverick co-star to come aboard after bandied-about names like Steve Carell and Jim Carrey never panned out.
But upon closer inspection, Gibson was clearly the man for the job all along. Let's look at some of the similarities between The Beaver's protagonist Walter Black, and the man who'll be playing him. (Spoilers ensue -- with much thanks to Vulture for their script review.)
· Walter is the CEO of a toy company.
· Gibson is the CEO of film production company.
· Walter is chronically depressed.
· Gibson has acknowledged suffering from chronic depression over his helplessness to alcohol.
· Walter is kicked to the curb by his totally-over-it wife, Meredith.
· Gibson was kicked to the curb by his totally-over-it wife, Robyn.
· Walter attempts suicide in a hotel room.
· Gibson told Diane Sawyer in 2004 that the inspiration for The Passion of the Christ came directly from suicidal thoughts. Also, a construction worker famously hanged himself on Gibson's property.
· Walter discovers a beaver puppet in a dumpster.
· Gibson discovered new girlfriend and babymama Oksana Grigorieva at a Malibu singles' mixer.
· After getting knocked in the head, Walter begins imagining the puppet is talking to him.
· After getting blitzed in the head, Gibson began imagining the Jews started all the wars.
· Mel Gibson to star in 'Beaver' [Variety]