Signing Off On Sparrow

· MTV's Josh Horowitz handed Johnny Depp a card with all of his movie prospects for the next year on it, and the actor scribbled down his commitment to the feature adaptation of Dark Shadows and the fourth installment of Pirates of the Caribbean. Thank goodness, as Hollywood was running low on vampire movies and sequels.

· Jon and Kate are following up on their record-breaking ratings (divorce, yay!) with a production break and a new episode hiatus until August.

· Sigourney Weaver has no plans to return for Ghostbusters 3: "I don't expect to have anything to do with it, although I wish them well."

· M. Night Shyamalan has launched a "creepy" point-and-click personal website. One step forward, one step back.

· Highly-paid editrix and Movieline bunk buddy Nikki Finke gave an interview to frienemy Sharon Waxman on the occasion of her joining the MMC family.

· MTV has acquired Mark Burnett's Audrina Patridge reality pilot, news which produced a stinky face from me that even Lo would have trouble duplicating.