One Stupid Pet Trick To Rule Them All

· Conan O'Brien's overnight numbers have "declined with each of its six telecasts," while longtime #2 David Letterman inched into first place Tuesday after a series of top draws, many of whom were generous enough to kick the competition during their visits. NBC responded by saying the new Tonight Show should be "judged over a span of millennia and not days." They also cheerily point to the fact the core demo is staying young and attractive, and that the only viewers being bled are the old, useless ones that no one cares about anyway. Isn't the business of TV wonderful? [Variety]

· Universal and Imagine have tapped Justin Theroux to direct Chief Ron, a comedy about a conman who pretends to be Mohegan so he can open a casino. This comes for the hunky multi-hyphenate after having written the script for Iron Man 2. [Variety]

· Diane Lane will star in Secretariat, the Disney movie about the racehorse and its owner, Penny Chenery -- the "first lady of racing." [Variety]

· The rights to Deadworld, a zombie comic, have been purchased by Dark Hero Studios, who plan to turn it into a franchise. Dark Hero partner David Hayter, who wrote X-Men and Watchmen, will write the screenplay. Asked why they were so eager to get this into production, Hayter explained, "Braaaaaaaaaaaaains," then devoured the contents of the Variety reporter's skull. [Variety]

· This delicious-looking pie is actually not delicious at all! It represents all the TV pilots leaving L.A. for New York, Canada, and other locations offering tax incentives. [Variety]

· The Lance Armstrong biopic project, long stalled on an uphill stretch of the Tour de Turnaround, seems to have finally found some momentum. Seabiscuit writer/director Gary Ross has come on board to write the script. [THR]

· Summit has cast Matt Prokop as the lead, opposite Brendan Fraser, in Furry Vengeance. It's about a city kid who moves to the country with his family, and does battle with the fed-up local wildlife. Haven't there been like a bazillion movies with this plot already? [THR]