Knives Out

For all the foodies, Chowhounders and dudes making homebrew, it's safe to flip over from the Food Network: Top Chef is back. But this time, rather than a bunch of noobs running around the kitchen, these are established and sometimes celebrity chefs competing for various charities in a battle royale. I'm A Chef... Get Me Out of Here? Hardly.

Top Chef Masters [10 PM, Bravo]

Hardcore fans of TC will miss Padma Lakshmi's presence (probably out doing sexy burger commercials), but she will be back as a guest judge. Tonight's episode features chefs Hubert Keller (Fleur de Lys) and three other real chefs with the winner eventually facing off against the winners of the next few weeks of shows for the $100,000 grand prize. We are most excited for Rick Bayless and Wylie Dufresne to strut their stuff, but look for one of the lesser known contestants to win and he or she has much more to gain from the exposure.

World's Strongest Toddler [8 PM, TLC]

Not having children (and being somewhat afraid of children to begin with), this program is scarier than any of the little people or twins/sextuplets shows. Or rather, the idea of the program is scarier. This is a three year-old, so his brain is probably not focused on bullying the doughier kids in his day care center. Other than learning about myostatin-related muscle hypertrophy, there might not be much else here. But maybe he deadlifts cars and eats like Michael Phelps and can tear phone books in half. Unlikely.

Wipeout [8 PM, ABC]

It's a double shot of wet-wild-painful fun with back-to-back episodes of ABC's least infuriating summer show. Other than new obstacles, the schtick is still the same, but we think there is something in the dark recesses of the Reptilian Complex (it's in your brain) that make us love face and crotch hits. Laughing at puns involving "big balls" has more to do with poor parenting.

Inside Man [10 PM, BET]

This news is a bit old, but there is a sequel in the works to Spike Lee's 2006 bank heist film. While this probably has more to do with the first film making a bunch of money (not the usual result of Lee's films), it could possibly have something to do with the success of the first film in telling a wide-ranging heist story (a bank is robbed and there are Nazis). Denzel Washington, Jodie Foster, Clive Owen and Willem Dafoe seem like a strange ensemble cast, but the script was enough to give every actor some scenery to chew on.