Chubby Lives!

· Yes, there's definite similarities between Wisconsin-Milwaukee forward James Eayrs and Chubby from Teen Wolf. They even wear the same color and number! [Deadspin]

· The Hobbit, a nice little story you can fit in your back pocket, is being expanded into three films, including some kind of Lord of the Rings linking chapter, Hobbit: Origins, and Hobbit Spring Break: The Last Mordorian Virgin. Guillermo del Toro will only direct the second two, so as to spread the nerd wealth.

· As if you weren't already jealous enough of Jack, Leo, Tobey, et al., Sunday they'll get to hear Kris Allen sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" at the Lakers-Magic game. Adam Lambert's loss will never seem more senseless as it will in the moment when Kris tries in vain to hit "and the land of the free."

· Does this ABC promo mean Charlie is returning to Lost for its final season?! (This is where I pretend to care so I fit in better at cocktail functions.)

· A&E invites you to click on any member of M.C. Hammer's family to begin your Hammertime online odyssey. Actually -- I'm good, thanks. Oh geez, I just couldn't resist. The second I saw Booby mugging at the mic, I had to learn more.

· Rotten Tomatoes ranks Will Ferrell's oeuvre, according to critical consensus upon their release. Stranger Than Fiction towers above Old School and Anchorman -- which kind of proves my point.

· We hate it when towering echelons of indie cool fight, but Sonic Youth's Kim Gordon just publicly bitch-slapped Radiohead for their little pay-what-you-want scheme. Does that put Miley Cyrus and Kim Gordon on the same team?