· Variety reports that after "a serious courtship...with some of the highest-profile projects in Hollywood," a cloud of white smoke in the shape of a giant thumbs-up has emerged from atop the CAA Death Star, alerting the rapt masses outside that megastar client Tom Cruise has landed upon his next starring vehicle: It's Wichita, a Fox comedy directed by James Mangold and co-starring Cameron Diaz, in which he'll play "a secret agent who pops in and out of the life of a single woman." The sparks off that screen -- they'll need to hand out welding masks! [Variety]
Click through to find out which two heartthrobs are jumping on Kevin Smith's Dicks!
· Time Warner Inc.'s has officially split from AOL, the paleolithic web service that once preceded its name after a misguided merger in 2001 that even I -- who can barely balance a checkbook and still use a hand-cranked dial-up modem to access the America Wide Web -- knew was going straight down the toilet. The newly single Time Warner has been spotted around town with a foxy Russian piano player on its arm, whom it's rumored the media conglomerate has already knocked up. More on that as it comes. [Variety]
· Pygmy Jerboa movie mogul Jeffrey Katzenberg will announce DreamWorks Animation's movie slate through 2012 today in New York City. All five features will be in 3-D. There's the expected Shrek and Kung Fu Panda sequels and spinoffs, plus: Oobermind, voiced by Robert Downey Jr. and Tina Fey, about a supervillain bored after he's wiped out all the good guys; and The Guardians, which brings together beloved childhood characters like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy to vanquish a Bogeyman villain; and How to Train Your Dragon, which stars "Jay Baruchel,Gerard Butler, America Ferrera and Johan Hill." Hm. I wonder if Johan is any relation to Jonah? [Variety]
· Seann William Scott and Adam Brody have joined Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan in Warner's A Couple of Dicks, Kevin Smith's buddy comedy about two cops on the trail of a stolen baseball card. Scott plays a burglar nicknamed the Shit Bandit for the steaming calling cards he leaves behind. Coincidentally, that was how the plumber forced to attend to Smith's toilet-pulverizing mishap described the director to his buddies back at the shop. [THR]
· 24 has a high-profile new P.A.! [THR]