· Local L.A. comedian and actress Suzi Barett put together this video letter to a friend thinking about moving to the big city, and in doing so has tapped into thousands of frustrated Angeleno psyches. It's like the travelogue equivalent of rooting through your closet and screaming to no one in particular how you have nothing to wear. Goddamn hilarious viral videos.
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· Nikki Finke is outraged -- outraged! -- over a leaked preview of Jon Peters' upcoming memoirs. "In all my time covering Hollywood," she sobs, between cutting-and-pasting giant portions of the not-that-exciting proposal into her blog, "I have never read a more vile betrayal of everyone and everything in Hollywood by a showbiz figure than this proposal." What did he do?? Let's take a peek at the offending material: "For example, not one, but two, of Jon's girlfriends called him from Washington on two separate occasions whispering the breathless news: 'I just fucked the President.'"
Oh. My. God. Kim Basinger and Barba Streisand fucked George W. Bush. I take it all back. Let's meet at the Farmer's Market parking lot for an old-fashioned proposal-burning.
· Here's not your run-of-the-mill Idol story: So perfectly sane Idol fan Janice Thibodeaux was so upset when she saw Simon Cowell mock-choking Paula Abdul on TV (didn't the cameras cut away from that?), she managed to score a ticket to the finale, hunt down Simon's ex-girlfriend Terri Seymour, and choke her right back. Until cops tackled her and threw her in jail, where she's currently being held on $52,703.
This is what I have to say to that:
· Michael Moore will next turn his cameras onto the -- anyone, anyone? -- that's right, the global economic meltdown, aka Fahrenheit 401k.
· Mars has introduced its first candy bar in 30 years. It's called Fling, and it's clearly geared towards the female market, who are supposed to eat it with their vaginas. I think. The commercial confused me.