Stop us if you've heard this one before: Paris Hilton isn't actually an airhead -- in reality, she's a savvy businesswoman in charge of her own brand! This is a true fact, if by "savvy businesswoman," one means, "stumbles into meeting hungover, texts up a storm while marketing team presents business plan they worked so hard on, gives dismissive wave of her hand when someone gently asks, 'Paris, your thoughts?' and finally answers, 'Hmm? Uh, OK. Whatever. Lovesit.'" Now, finally we have a trailer for Paris, Not France, the dumbly controversial documentary that purports to set the record straight on what it's like to be Hilton.
Answer: It is like being an idiot. Under the watchful eye of director Adria Petty (Tom Petty's daughter), Hilton does the things we already know she does, like attend premieres and get photographed -- this time, though, in arty black and white! Meanwhile, Hilton attempts candor yet struggles with her total lack of things to say. Repeatedly, the heiress insists that the image people have of her is false, but when prompted to correct it, she responds, "Whatever." The only shocking reveal in the trailer is that Hilton does in fact dress her dog in a ridiculous doily sweater for business meetings, and I'm pretty sure that if I'd spent over a minute pondering her enigma, I could have guessed that.
So, if you're in the market to watch a 68-minute documentary that plays like a compilation of deleted scenes from S1m0ne, you're in luck -- MTV has bought the film and will air it sometime this year in a bid to hasten its irrelevancy provide empowering messages for women. Enjoy: