Jesus! Isn't USA Today supposed to be the exclusive domain of 5-paragraph articles propped up by multi-color charts? Is there any precedent for this insanely-long, almost-3800-word article on what goes on behind the scenes on American Idol? Our country's airport travelers will have a lot to dig into today (unless they're still bitter Allison fans). Here at Movieline, though, we've taken the time to distill this epic down to its most salient points -- most of which are that Adam Lambert and Danny Gokey are notsomuch best friends:
· Lambert loves fame, Gokey loves talking about how he doesn't love fame. "I'm not here for the attention," the Goke insists, even as Lambert shouts, "I am!" This leads the two into an exchange that makes you like each of them a leeetle bit less:
"Look," says Lambert, "I didn't really come here to win as much as I came to get exposure and build my career. It's about what the show gives us."Gokey listens, then says, "I think it's about leaving a mark in people's hearts."
· Lambert has become close friends with his roommate, beautiful dum-dum Kris Allen. God-fearing Gokey, however, enjoys no such privileges.
"Danny and me? Well, we're really different," says Lambert softly. "On everything. So we often agree to disagree."
· Lambert loves to shop. Lamberts be shoppin'! The glam rocker thinks nothing of spending his own money on an expensive suit, often exceeding the weekly shopping stipend handed out by producers. Gokey, however, is confused by clothes, and when he tries them on, the soft caress of incipient metrosexuality forces him to end his sentences like a French fop:
"I think leather would be really cool for Dance, no?" he asks his couture guru Siggins.
· These people really have no idea what they're singing. What people presume to be an intensely though-out song choice picked week-to-week by musically knowledgeable people is often a decision thrust upon them that makes them go, "Hmmm, One by U2. Never heard of it." Naturally, this only gets worse during the judges' picks week.
Accompanying himself on a Taylor acoustic guitar, Allen's version of Kanye West's Heartless is flawless. The coaches have little to add."I haven't listened to that song much," says Allen, even though it was his own choice.
Lambert runs through U2's One, which the judges picked for him to sing. Aside from hearing it a few times on the radio, the song was mostly unfamiliar to Lambert until a few hours ago.
AMERICA THESE ARE YOUR IDOLS.
· Behind the 'Idol' curtain: 3 finalists, 3 days, zero rest [USA Today]