If there's a lesson our commenters know all too well, it's that nobody gets in the way of Kiefer Sutherland at a bar (especially when he's drunkenly expressing regret to Brooke Shields about the fate of Lipstick Jungle). As a reward for posting the five best comments of the week, we entrust out wittiest readers with an actor willing to commit midemeanor assault on their misplaced behalf. Use him wisely -- now, on to the best comments:
· Little Mintz Sunshine on Kiefer Sutherland Surrenders: "Never underestimate the power of beer goggles to turn a 6'2" woman with shoulders like a college lineman and guns bigger than most men into a damsel in distress. Kief, I loves you man, but the only time any actor can help a woman is when he is asked to replace the fork she dropped after the salad course."
· David on Fox Sends Prison Rape Joke to Gay Magazine: "If they had sent a sharpened toothbrush, that'd be sending the wrong message too. Clearly, this was the biggest catch-22 a marketing department faced this week."
· WindowSeat on Angels & Demons Dodges Haters at Rome Premiere: "The brouhaha over The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons would be a lot more believable if the books weren't selling like hotcakes in both The Vatican Museum and Santa Maria delle Grazie's gift shops."
· NoWireHangers on Remembering Barbarella: The Greatest Remake Never Made: "So Rodriguez wouldn't leave his five (!) children for Germany, but he would leave them for Rose McGowan. Also, if you want to see Rose McGowan half naked in a bad sci-fi fantasy, just watch the red carpet footage of her and Marilyn Manson in the late 1990s. Then give the $70 million to me."
· Long time reader, first time commenter on Disney Income Tumbles 97%, Cuts to Come?: "I think it might be time for them to release High School Musical 3: Just Troy's Shower Scenes."
Congratulations to our winners!