LIsa Kudrow is the first to admit her world is "everything good," thanks to the enormous success of "Friends." But here she reveals the more intimate details of her life -- the alienation she felt in high school, the anti-semitism she faced in college, the one thing she fights about with her husband and the special off-camera bond she shared with Courteney Cox Arquette and Jennifer Aniston.
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The guards at the Warner Bros. lot are very careful before letting you in. Your car is subject to full inspection and when you say you are going to Stage 28 where "Friends" is produced, the walkie-talkies start humming. A drive-on pass is given, and another security guard meets you by the hangar-like stage. He quietly uses his walkie-talkie to let someone know Lisa Kudrow's "guest" has arrived. Someone comes and accompanies you inside, and there is Lisa, more recognizable as Phoebe, the somewhat ditsy blonde "Friend." She is by the food table looking for something to eat. None of the other five "Friends" are around--they all worked in the morning. Only Kudrow, 39, gets to spend her afternoon talking to a reporter.
When "Friends" is on hiatus, Kudrow, like many of the others in the show, makes movies. She's appeared in Albert Brooks's Mother, with Mira Sorvino in Romy and Michele's High School Reunion, with Christina Ricci in The Opposite of Sex, as Billy Crystal's wife in Analyze This and Analyze That, and with Diane Keaton and Meg Ryan in Hanging Up. She'll next play the wife of porn star John Holmes (Val Kilmer) in the drama Wonderland; in August she stars as a Jewish woman who inherits a record label stocked with hardcore rappers in Marci X; and later this year she'll co-star with Gwyneth Paltrow in Don Roos's Happy Endings.
Kudrow takes a bite of her sandwich, grabs a handful of caramel popcorn, lights up a cigarette, and makes an excuse for herself before any questions are asked. "I'm not that articulate. Or succinct. I have opinions, but I won't have them in a public forum."
LAWRENCE GROBEL: Do you have fears about being interviewed?
LISA KUDROW: Anything I say about myself will usually involve other people, and I don't have a right to discuss their stories. And no matter how much I trust you, I can't control what the public gets out of what I say.
Q: Have you had bad experiences with the press, where you've been misquoted?
A: Worse than that. During one interview, where I was asked if I'd like "Friends" to come back, I said, "I hope it does, it suits my lifestyle. Now that I've said it out loud, it probably won't happen." It got picked up as: Kudrow Said Show Will Return. Then I had five other people--we hadn't talked yet, we were still on hiatus--asking me, "Why are you saying the show's being picked up? We haven't talked. You don't have that right." What I said was printed accurately, and still it wound up making other people who were saying, "No, we're done," look bad.
Q: With the astronomical amount of money you're making on "Friends"$1 million each an episode do you think the show will continue past its contractual conclusion?
A: Next season is the last.
Q: Did you feel like you won the lottery when you were cast in "Friends"?
A: Yes, after the first year.
Q: That was before your salaries went through the roof. Once they did, did it feel a little weird?
A: Yes, and a couple of us even got nervous driving, like we could have an accident. Or flying. Certain fears got heightened because we felt it was just too much luck in one spot--something bad would have to balance it out.
Q: Do you still feel that way?
A: No. There are other surprises you don't expect that come along with fame. Like thinking whatever you've got going on emotionally is going to get fixed. That doesn't happen at all.
Q: Still, having money can't hurt.
A: It's a nice thing not to be worried about, I'll say that a hundred thousand times. It's everything good.
Q: Are you and Jennifer and Courteney truly close friends?
A: Yeah.
Q: DO you eat lunch together every day?
A: Yeah.
Q: Do you like to gossip?
A: Sort of. We spend a lot of time talking about the world and whatever's going on. When we were getting married, we'd talk about getting married.
Q: What attributes do they each possess that endear them to you?
A: Courteney doesn't have a mean bone in her body. You can't make her insult someone. She just won't. But she's really honest, and if something comes up, she takes care of it immediately, which is great. She's not afraid of conflict, and she's not combative. You talk it out with her. Everything she tells you is coming out of love and respect, and I love that about her. She's everything good. And Jennifer--she's very emotional, spiritual, loving and supportive. Whatever you say, she's going to find a way to support you with it. That's how loyal she is. Even if you said you murdered someone, she'd find a way to support that, because you're a friend. Well, maybe that's a bad example.
Q: What about the guys? Have they bonded the way the women have?
A: Not as much as the girls, no. But that's just the way girls are. With guys, they bond over things. So if they don't have the same things in common, it's going to be harder. These are all good, decent guys.
Q: What's your favorite film that each of them has appeared in?
A: I've always felt they were great in everything they've done. Matt LeBlanc in Lost in Space, he's a great romantic action hero--he's a sexy, take-charge kind of guy. And Matthew Perry is really charming, I love watching him as a romantic lead. But I don't like gory movies, so I don't see all of my friends' films. I haven't seen any of the Screams, Courteney's movies. She understands. I saw Se7en, Brad's film, and I couldn't sleep for two weeks after that.
Q: Jennifer Aniston received much critical acclaim last year for her role on "Friends" and for The Good Girl. Any jealousy?
A: No. Because everyone's had it at some point or another. We all learned pretty fast that if one gets a turn, they're like waves, they just keep coming.
Q: When Courteney found David and Jennifer found Brad, did they look for support or
approval from the rest of you?
A: Not so much. As girls, we all talk about our relationships, but then once they turned into marriages, that became something more sacred.
Q: Does your husband or Brad come on the set much?
A: Michel [Stern] is here almost every week. So is Brad. They come on show nights. David Arquette shows up sometimes during the week, because he plays basketball near here.
Q: Have any of your "Friends" guest stars been nervous?
A: They've all been scared. Susan Sarandon. Bruce Willis. Sean Penn was nervous and he's done plays. Alec Baldwin didn't seem scared, but he isn't afraid of anything.
Q: Let's talk about your movies. Your latest is Wonderland with Val Kilmer-- he plays porno stud John Holmes and you play his wife, Sharon. Have you seen any of Holmes's movies?
A: I've seen clips, but I'm not a big porno fan.
Q: What do you think of him?
A: He was fascinating--he had a wife and a girlfriend, and they all lived together for a while.
Q: Val Kilmer's career is in need of a boost--will this give it to him?
A: I think so, but you never know. He's a really good actor.
Q: Did you work well with him?
A: He dragged stuff out of me that wouldn't have come out otherwise, because I'm not as strong as he is.
Q: In the films you've done, which ones did you think were going to work?
A: I really liked The Opposite of Sex.
Q: What insight did you gain into Christina Ricci's character from working with her?
A: She was younger then, and she's still young. She seemed at times like a teenage girl, that insecure thing where she felt an actor wasn't being nice because he wasn't attracted to her. And then there was this other side, this really tough person who had already experienced so much.
Q: That film's director, Don Roos, said there's something in you that's very dark.
A: I know he said that. I don't see it. Doesn't mean it's not there.
Q: Diane Keaton, who directed you and Meg Ryan in Hanging Up, has described you as mysterious, complicated, sly and witty.
A: Sly! Sly! She thinks I'm sly? [Laughs] That's a compliment.
Q: Are you also complicated?
A: Well, who isn't?
Q: Mysterious?
A: Not intentionally. I just keep my mouth shut if I don't know what I'm talking about. Maybe that's what it is. Most people who seem mysterious have a mop floating around in their heads [laughs].
Q: What was it like being on-set with Keaton and Ryan?
A: They would talk about architecture and design. When I talked about architecture, Diane would laugh at me.
Q: Why?
A: When I'd say, "I saw a house I liked," she would ask, "Who's the architect?" When I'd say the name, she'd laugh hysterically and say, "Well, of course you liked it!"
Q: Did you and Ryan pass the time by consulting a Ouija board?
A: We did, and Diane thought we were nuts. She would just shriek when we suggested she do it with us. And then give me a round of, "You're just so stupid, Lisa" [laughs].
Q: Did she tell you that?
A: A few times!
Q: Did you like Ryan?
A: I fell madly in love with her. We stay in touch, though it's slowed down over the past year or two.
Q: Was Robert De Niro intimidating to work with on the Analyze films?
A: He wasn't intimidating, I was intimidated.
Q: He isn't known for being articulate. Did you get a chance to talk with him?
A: No, I didn't want to impose. I have a theory about Robert De Niro: he's a true artist. He's not a linear thinker. There's a problem when he tries to verbalize something. It's like any neurological pathway that's not functioning at an optimal level.
Q: From what I've read about you, you were a pretty geeky kid who liked to study a lot.
A: Yeah.
Q: Why did your friends all drop you at one point?
A: That was in seventh grade. I wasn't attracting guys, and that's what my girlfriends were interested in. I didn't know as many of the kids as they did, because they all went to Hebrew school together. And during lunch, no one would introduce me. I didn't have the social skills. And one day I got this letter from my two best friends which said, "You're a tagalong, you just stand there, you don't say anything. You need to make your own friends. We're not going to help you do that, we're not going to be your friends anymore." That was awful. The world turned upside down. Everyone was so mean. And it lasted for the rest of the school year.
Q: Did you lose all of your friends?
A: I was able to hold on to another friend, but we didn't have the same lunch period. So my worst fears about eating alone came true. Hopefully that will be the most painful thing that ever happens to me in my life.
Q: You had your nose fixed when you were 16--was that a scary decision?
A: I didn't think twice about it.
Q: And how did your life change afterwards?
A: The nose is a big deal. All of a sudden, I looked better. Senior guys were interested in me.
Q: Your father often had you watch documentaries about the Holocaust. How many did you see?
A: Every one of them. He had a cousin who had escaped from the Polish army and they met in New York and he told my father what had happened to their village--everyone had been rounded up and shot. My grandmother's whole family, except for two sisters and a half brother, was lost in the Holocaust.
Q: Have you ever experienced anti Semitism?
A: Yeah, sure. In Encino. I went into a store and the store owner said something like, "You damn Jews. You want it when you want it, and you can't wait." In college, it was a more innocent kind. My roommate was a Greek girl from Maryland. She had never met a Jew before and had assumed everything she heard about them was true. One time we were studying in the library and she said, "I need 25 cents." I said, "Take a dollar." She said, "Thank you, you know, you're so unlike the typical stereotypical Jew. You're not cheap, you're not stingy, you're warm, you've got a good heart." I said, "But that's the way Jews are."
Q: Let me ask you about your marriage. What are the three best things about it?
A: That's a nice question! Gosh. Everything is good. We're committed. We haven't gotten so comfortable that we don't still make an effort. We're both still very much in love. It's been seven years.
Q: Have you had conflicts with your husband over parenting?
A: Sure. Table manners. It's important to him and not to me. There are certain things I don't feel like fighting over.
Q: Are you going to have another child?
A: We're thinking about it.
Q: How long have you been a smoker?
A: I started when I was 20.1 stopped for three years before and during my pregnancy.
Q: Do you smoke dope?
A: No. I tried it, but it doesn't agree with me.
Q: What do you want to do after you finish "Friends"?
A: Movies.
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Lawrence Grobel