She's been in the news for making Charlie's Angels a blockbuster, escaping a house fire and marrying Tom Green, but there's more to Drew Barrymore than headlines. Here she tells us what she really does behind closed doors--from the phobia she developed after the destruction of her home to the anxiety she's experienced as a producer to the emotional roller coaster she endured while making her biggest challenge to date, Riding in Cars with Boys.
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Drew Barrymore is one of Hollywood's happier souls. She's as gracious and friendly to her fans as she is to her coworkers, right down to the grips. She identifies with the gaiety of flowers, wearing them in her hair to glamorous events, and even naming her production company after them. When out in public with her husband, envelope-pushing actor-comedian-filmmaker Tom Green, she exudes admiration, warmth, benevolence. And there are few people who've met her who haven't later gushed about her generosity and genuine nature.
Being liked in Hollywood is nice, but that's not all Drew Barrymore has working in her favor. She's gained tremendous respect from her peers for having survived a tumultuous childhood acting career and an adolescent bout with substance abuse, and establishing herself as a leading lady with the box-office successes The Wedding Singer and Ever After: A Cinderella Story. She's also earned a reputation for being a savvy producer by turning the 1999 comedy Never Been Kissed into a moderate hit, and Charlie's Angels into a surprise blockbuster. Barrymore's slate at Flower Films, which she runs with partner Nancy Juvonen, is now jam-packed--she'll soon costar with Ben Stiller in the comedy Duplex, and she's got two high-profile films in development--_Charlie's Angels 2_ and Barbarella, a remake of the 1968 sci-fi kitsch classic. What she's most excited about, however, is her gut-wrenching performance in director Penny Marshall's drama Riding in Cars with Boys. Based on the book by Beverly Donofrio, Barrymore plays a thrill-seeking teenager whose life takes a turn for the serious when she becomes pregnant at 15. The film explores the different stages she goes through as a single mom up until age 35.
The last year has been a busy one for Barrymore. In addition to spending nearly eight months on Riding in Cars, she flew all over the globe to promote the hell out of Charlie's Angels, she executive produced the indie fantasy Donnie Darko, she saw her Coldwater Canyon house burn to the ground and she kept the press wondering about her marital status until she finally officially tied the knot with Green in Malibu (they had a symbolic wedding in the spring in the South Pacific).
When I meet Barrymore at the Sunset Marquis Hotel in West Hollywood, I see no signs of wear and tear. There are a few things off about her appearance, though. Her hair is a short, spiky mix of dark roots and a few shades of blonde from the many color treatments she had to endure for Riding in Cars. And she's wearing what she calls her "Joyce DeWitt pants"faded, comfortable blue jeans that look like something DeWitt wore on "Three's Company" because she hasn't had time to buy new clothes after the fire incinerated her wardrobe.
MICHAEL FLEMING: Your life has been full of newsworthy events in the past year. Are you overwhelmed?
DREW BARRYMORE: God forbid I ever be mundane. Knowing we'd be having this interview, I set my house on fire.
Q: What really was the cause?
A: Electrical, they say. The house started burning, and within four minutes, the whole house was gone. No time to grab anything. Wood floors, open floor plan, old. It went like a match.
Q: How did you deal with losing your possessions?
A: I came to believe it was time to start over. I needed to learn to let go of things because I was coming to a very collecting, hoarding place in my life, holding really strong to my past. Things that made me know I had an identity I didn't have growing up, something I thought would be good for my future children. That it was all taken away is something I need to examine. I believe it happens for spiritual reasons. The alternative, sitting around and being bummed out, that would be pointless.
Q: You were just beginning to collect mementos and heirlooms from the Barrymore acting dynasty. Were you able to save any of them?
A: I've been able to fix some of the silver that was given to me, through chemical solutions. One of the things that meant the most to me were these photo books of my family. Luckily Tom closed the door to the room they were in so they survived. Everything else was gone.
Q: Which of your possessions have been hardest to replace?
A: I've had most of my clothes for years. I hate shopping, going into the dressing room with that fluorescent lighting. You spend all this time finding clothes that make you feel good in your body. Nancy [Juvonen, her partner at Flower Films] bought me some pants, and they were peg-leg--five foot four in peg-leg is not a good combination. They make me look two feet tall and about eight feet wide. Not only did my house burn down, but I was left feeling ugly.
Q: At the time of the fire you seemed to take losing your house lightly because you made jokes to the press about it, but surely you must have been terribly upset.
A: It happened at three in the morning. We stayed up all night, dealing with the fire chief, and went to a hotel that afternoon. That night, when I went to sleep and Tom shut off the lights, I started crying and screaming, "I can't have the lights off!" Our hotel room was backed against a wall; there was no way to get out. I never thought of that before when I'd gone into any room. It was Grammy week, so we were fortunate to have this room. I put the television on, never really slept. The next night, Tom shut off the lights and I started screaming again. He said, "You know what? Let's not make this a thing. You don't want to be afraid to sleep in the dark when you're 35. You can nip this in the bud right now, and I will do whatever it takes to help you." I said, "You're right, I don't have to make this a thing! It's my psychological choice not to be damaged by this right now." I was determined to not become crippled by the experience. He was right, and because he's got such a mix of sensitivity and rationalism, it worked. I haven't been afraid.
Q: It must be nice to have someone like that in your life who can help you work things out.
A: He's smart. Sometimes I seem like an emotional basket case compared to Tom. But he can get emotional and weird, too. He's got his neurotic side; I've got mine.
Q: Your dog Flossie is credited with saving you from the fire. What shape is she in?
A: She's so fat at this point, from all the treats. It's weird; she's depressed, and I can't tell if it's because she's overweight or because of the trauma. She doesn't have a Tom telling her to get rational about it.
Q: You went to great lengths to not have the media crash your wedding. Was it worth it?
A: You know that saying, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye? Well, it's all fun and games until someone ruins your wedding day. It should be sacred, not some press joke. I feel I'm on this metaphorical gynecological table most of the time. It's all out there, and I'm totally cool with that. My wedding was the one thing I felt animalistically protective of.
Q: Michael Douglas sold photos from his wedding to Catherine Zeta-Jones to OK! magazine because it gave them quality control and backed the stalkerazzi off.
A: That's one way of going about it, but it wouldn't be my way. If he felt it was about protection, I respect that. But I cannot sell out what I consider to be sacred, and there are very few things that are. I'm fair and accommodating about most things.
Q: People thought you had taken your openness to new extremes when Tom Green went on "The Tonight Show" and told Jay Leno you were with child.
A: Not only didn't that bother me, I loved it. I was backstage when he said it, laughing my butt off. The fact that people started running with the story made me love it more. He said I whispered it in his ear when he went on the show. As if I would ever tell my husband that I'm pregnant just as he's going on a talk show! I'm thinking, Where does he get this stuff? One of the things we bond over is details, and I loved the detail about whispering it in his ear as he was coming out. But I'd never do that. I'd probably spell it out in flower petals in a private room.
Q: Do you feel pressured to make your relationship seem happy all the time because everyone is looking?
A: You could try to project this public storybook marriage, and that everyone should admire you for pulling it off. That's not who I am. I can't pretend something's a certain way because it might make me look better. I don't relate to people who seem perfect, because I'm so imperfect. The only thing I know how to do is figure things out in front of everyone, because that's what I've done my whole life. There's no manipulation.
Q: Tom's known for pulling pranks. What's the latest one he's done to you?
A: We were looking at this house the other day. He called me and asked, "Did you hear about the house? We can't live in it. There's a bomb shelter underneath and it's unstable. And, anyway, Brendan Fraser and his family are living in it." I guess he'd seen that movie Blast From the Past. Sometimes I'll take him seriously and get upset, saying, "What the fuck are you saying?" He's been working on this book he calls 20 Ways I Scare My Fiancée. We weren't married when he started it, but I think he should keep that title.
Q: Is it true that Tom urged you to reconcile with your mother, with whom you've had a rocky relationship since you were a teenager?
A: Yes. He invited her to spend last Christmas with his family in Ottawa. I was nervous about getting together for three days, but it turned out to be fun. His parents and my mother got along really well. They have a great sense of humor, and my mom has this weird, wicked sense of humor. If his parents were uptight, it wouldn't have worked. Because they have kind hearts and humor, and they don't judge people, it flowed. "20/20" had done a segment on Tom, his cancer special and his comedy. After dinner, we watched it in the family room, and everybody felt so proud. Then we went upstairs and sang karaoke and played games. It was a perfect evening.
Q: How often do you see your mother now?
A: Every few months. We don't have to be best friends, we don't have to support each other. We don't have to get financially involved. We don't have to get involved in each other's careers. For a long time, we weren't allowed to be in each other's lives. And the guilt and the pain that comes from that, when you have a birthday and the person that gave birth to you is not allowed to speak to you, it's pretty tough.
Q: In your next film, Riding in Cars with Boys, your character has a son at a young age, and then grows to resent him. Did the film cause you to sympathize with your mother because it made you understand the responsibility she had to deal with?
A: We talked about what it was like for her, and I started adapting it into my character. I was really honest, telling her that, in a kind of weird way, I was playing her. I asked her if she saw the parallels. I wanted it to be as cathartic as possible for us.
Q: Did she feel guilty, putting you through what she did, like taking you to Studio 54 when you were a child?
A: No. I put my mom through some shit, too. I wasn't easy. Imagine what it must be like for your child to be 11, telling you that you can't tell me what to do--I'm off to a party. That must be no easy job for a parent, and I rue the day if my child did that to me.
Q: It sounds like this movie took you on a few emotional roller coasters.
A: Oh, my God, it was disturbing every day--the questioning, being in touch with the pain.
Q: Did you ever feel like giving up on this emotional exploration with your mom?
A: At first, I would ask Tom, "Why are you pushing me into this?" Meanwhile, every time we talked about my mom, I would get emotional about it. I asked, "Why is this so important to you?" He said, "Because I don't think that the difficulty of seeing or speaking to your mom every few months could ever compare to the amount of guilt and pain that I see in you on a daily basis. I feel you could start easing that horrible disease inside you by just slowly trying to build a relationship. You've been looking at her as a child, and you're an adult now. So maybe you can have a different relationship with her." I was like, stop being so smart, you're annoying me.
Q: Has the pain subsided a bit?
A: A massive weight's off my shoulders, and I have to say that this film was a big part of me and my mom working some things out. I actually started seeing things from her place for a moment, not coming at it from the vantage point of a victimized child. Yeah, maybe she wasn't the best parent when I was 10 to 14, but I think it's because she got confused. Hollywood is a very fucked-up world, and it really fucks up relationships. The survival rate is very slim--in marriages, in parenting, in business.
Q: Given the odds, what made you want to take the risk and marry Tom?
A: I think our relationship is worth fighting for. One night we were having difficulties, both of us going through a lot of work turmoil. We were sitting on our kitchen floor and had just gotten back the pictures his parents had sent us from Christmas. We looked through them and said, "That's what's important. Remember that family is reality." Tom's from Ottawa, he has a great sense of objectivity, and I have a great sense of comfort about the way this town works. We kind of have a yin-yang factor there, very different perspectives, because of our lives growing up.
Q: You certainly do know how this town works. You've risen from child actor to teen actress to leading lady to producer. Still, you had to fight to win the starring role in Riding in Cars with Boys. Why is that?
A: Nothing in my life comes easy. Jim Brooks, who is one of the producers, believed I was the person to play this. And I'm grateful he was in my corner. He wanted me to meet with Penny before any other actress did. I had the fortunate blessing of being the first in line to audition, but it's hard watching everyone else go in after you. I heard rumors that other people were going to get it. That lasted three months. But the struggle made it all the more rewarding.
Q: You've stuck to lighter fare for the past few years. Was doing a very emotional drama a difficult departure?
A: Not often can you work with a director who's going to work your bones into the ground from morning till night. Who's going to make you do a film that could be done in two months, and take eight months. Who's never going to let you slip up with an accent. And who's going to help you get to the place where you have to cry all the time, or tell you that what you're going for is bullshit, that you should be more honest and don't milk the moment. It wasn't the proper dynamic for Penny Marshall and I to be best friends.
Q: Would you ever want to direct?
A: I'd like to. I'm amazed that Tom just up and directed Freddy Got Fingered. I've sat around and talked about directing for the last 10 years. He just did it. Nancy and I have really enjoyed finding the right filmmaker for our films. I haven't wanted to get in the way of that, yet.
Q: Many people predicted Charlie's Angels would be a train wreck, but it was a blockbuster. Are people now taking you and Nancy seriously?
A; Yes, but in no way would that validation have matched the level of failure had we not succeeded. It was a sigh of relief when it worked, but had it not, they would have said, "I knew it, they suck!"
Q: Before it opened, were you confident or a basket case?
A: I wasn't as sick as I was during Never Been Kissed. When that film opened, I thought I was going to be checked back into the institution. I really flipped out.
Q: Explain flipping out.
A: I woke up Friday morning. Normally I'm in meetings all day, but I cleared the day, which was the stupidest thing I could have done. I had only myself to deal with. I woke up that morning thinking, [panting] Damn, there was an early showing in New York, wonder how it went? That's exciting, that it's in Times Square, why can't I just appreciate that? Why am I thinking like such a Hollywood asshole? I hate myself...my God, what if it doesn't work? The studio's going to think it invested money in a bunch of losers! I'll call Nancy. No, she'll think I'm nuts. No, she knows I'm nuts, so I'll call. No, I'll call my friend Amy! "Oh, you can't do anything now? Oh, maybe we can get together for dinner. You know what? I shouldn't be around anybody because I have such bad energy! In fact, I'm going to hang up the phone." Was I being weird? I'll just drive out to the ocean. That's what I need, to see the deep blue sea. Because I'm so small! The ocean will remind me how stupid I am. So, I go to the ocean, and pull over in the parking lot, but I go to buy some CDs because I think that music will help. But I'm crying now. I can't go in the store because they'll think I'm nuts. I think, OK, OK. Maybe I should call Amy again. "Hello? No, I'm in the parking lot [crying]. I don't know what to do, it's only Friday afternoon, and this is the longest day of my life. No! I'm not checking the weekend grosses, I want to find out after it's done. In fact, I want to find out in the trades on Monday, the way everybody else does. I'm a loser! Why am I talking about the trades? I've got to go. Bye." Why am I being so self-indulgent? Nothing will be affected by this weekend...but Hollywood will. Everybody involved in this movie will care. My God! I've let all these people down! My God, it's been 10 minutes since I looked at the ocean; I brought myself out to the sea, and I haven't even looked at it. I'm looking down at the sand, thinking about myself.
Q: When did that stop?
A: It lasted the whole weekend. I forced myself to wait until I walked into the office on Monday. I had micromanaged that film from my heart, and realized that fixating with the end result would make a great experience impure. Better I lose my mind at the beach and not find out what the numbers are as they're coming in, rather than be a producer on her cell phone.
Q: When you finally got to work that Monday and realized you'd opened strong, how did you feel?
A: I was somewhat relieved.
Q: Do you feel that your long lucky streak might end?
A: I do feel that at any moment it will all be gone. That at any moment I'll be thrown back into that institution, that the people I love will run away from me.
Q: You're narrating and producing a documentary about the Barrymore family. Which family member do you feel closest to?
A: John, no question. I've felt jealous of the people who've met members of my family I've never met. I've been at restaurants where someone will come up and tell me they knew my grandfather. You could never get me more all ears. The thing I really enjoy doing is watching their movies. Then reading books they actually wrote, and learning who really knew them. A lot of people get to spend their lives with their families. Since I didn't, I at least feel lucky that my family left me all this documentation of their lives.
Q: With all the recent success you've had, do you feel you're holding up your end of the Barrymore legacy?
A: I never feel like I'm pulling a sword out of the stone. I feel like I'm pulling it out of thin air--and sometimes I'm pulling it out of my ass. The idea of being able to make your family proud, whether they're here or floating in the universe, that must be the height of success for everybody.
Q: Will you work kids into your life?
A: Yeah. Women fear that it takes them out of the game. I even fear that if I have kids, I'm going to be this big, fat, emotional wreck. I'm going to be so stuck to my child I'm not going to be able to work. But I get scared. I'm 26, and have a couple things lined up that take a while. All of a sudden, I'm going to be 30 and realize, I didn't do anything for myself in my 20s, except for my career.
Q: Anything you want to whisper in my ear, before I walk out of here?
A: [Leans over, in breathy whisper] Yes. I'm pregnant. [Louder] I'm kidding!
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Michael Fleming interviewed Heather Graham for the September issue of Movieline.